It must be a weekend.

I am sitting in a recliner, eating potato chips and french onion dip, watching a generic "end of the world" movie on SyFy (as opposed to watching one of their generic "genetically altered creatures eat everything they see" movies), and I realize that it must be a weekend. Rick put a rather large section of beef to smoke on the back porch, he and Alex are out shopping - I mean, looking at items of interest at Best Buy - and Bonnie is playing games on my phone. JP is sleeping on the floor, and at some point I need to get up and start the weekend round of laundry and cleaning.

I don't want to. I want a cadre of brownies to keep my house neat and clean. I want pixies to keep the garden weed-free, and whichever fey creature it is that keeps the lawn trimmed. And dragonflies that breathe fire to keep the mosquitoes away. And while I'm at it, and little corner of inverse hyper-space so I have room to sew.

The question is, where do I get this stuff?

@#$%!*&^#

I spent two and a half hours crafting a post. I re-wrote it twice, because it was basically a post saying that we have 1100+ employees, and managers are just going to have to step up and do their jobs if they want payroll to be perfect every time, and that's not the kind of stuff I really want to post without a careful review.

And this piece of cr@p laptop that I was given as a loaner after my last piece of cr@p laptop died just went and deleted it because between the gremlin "m"s, the so-sensitive-it-scrolls-if-you breathe-on-it touchpad, and the keys that don't work unless you press them twice, I somehow managed to select all the text but one letter and delete.

IT wonders why I don't like them. I wonder why this POC laptop was available for anything other than spare parts. I wonder why the "just until we can get a better loaner for you, oh wonderful person who makes sure we get paid" laptop is still in my possession 3 weeks later.

I wonder who is sending me text messages at 2:45 in the morning.

Cool Email Address

One of our employees has an email address that begins "bcopacetic".

I like that! What are some cool email addresses that you have seen? (Audrey - you can't list your own!)

I must be getting old...

I used to be able to do 14 things at once, all of them requiring major commitments of time, and not bat an eye. I'm getting old.

As my coworkers know (or at least the ones who haven't been living under a rock since July), we are making lots of changes to how we do things on the HR and Payroll side. One of these changes is a new Time and Attendance system. It's a great system, way easier to work with than the old one, and it will cut our payroll processing time down by at least 3 hours. Unfortunately, as we slowly roll this out to the company over 5 pay periods, I am beginning to realize why they suggested we take a slower pace - there is nothing worse than doing payroll in TWO systems. We had to triple check everything we did, and I am sure that someone's check got messed up. Hopefully it's a minor problem, easily fixed, and not causing major hiccups to someone's cash flow. In case you're wondering, I feel worse when it's my mistake than when it's yours, and I really hate when it's a big hit to someone who can't take a big hit.

In addition to what's going on at work, I have two baby quilts to make, two challenge quilts, a pirate costume, and I just volunteered to help make costumes for a local children's theater.

Why yes, I am crazy. Why do you ask?

The Bonster

Anyone who knows me knows The Bonster. She is not just my daughter, she is what keeps me sane. And, yes, there is a level of madness that I consider "sane".

The Bonster is not your typical preschool girl. Her favorite movie is "Cars", her imaginary friend is Superman, and I'm told she has the makings of a great wide receiver. She knows her Disney Princesses (hard not to these days), and can dress up with the best of them, but she also loves helping Daddy with any project that will allow her to go outside and get dirty.

What I love most about The Bonster is her imagination. The world that my Bonster lives in would be a great place to visit. I'd likely find it familiar to my own - she has an office where you can find everything under the sun, including her very own Temple at the front desk. She owns a car that is just like Mama's, but red. It isn't anything like Daddy's car, even though Daddy's car is practically a red version of Mama's. (I think the difference is in the number of toys and discarded jackets in the back seat.) She has spaghetti for breakfast everyday, and goes shopping when the mood strikes her.

I look forward to the next figment of her imagination that she cares to share with me, and I will never doubt that they are as real to her as Mr Bleep-O-Bleep-O-Bleep was (is?) to me.

Being Temple Sherburne

Today is my day to cover the front desk while Temple takes her breaks. It's actually a nice change of pace. I answer the few calls that come thru, redirect people to the OTHER elevators so they can get where they're going, and contemplate the life cycle of paperclips.

Strangely, DCS is my first job in over 20 years where I don't handle Reception in addition to my other duties. Imagine, if you will, discussing a delicate payroll matter with an employee on the phone, while signing for a FedEx package. Meanwhile, there are two employees in front of you talking loudly while they wait for you to hang up so THEY can discuss delicate personnel matters with you. That is the life of a Payroll/HR/Front Desk/Office Manager for you. I don't recommend it as a career choice - the pay is horrible, and the working conditions are worse.

Question of the day - what were some of the strangest job duties you ever had? I mean the ones that weren't anywhere close to what you expected from the job title?

Congratulations, it's a blog!

This is my blog. It's not much to look at right now, but soon it will be a repository of snide, ironic, and generally amusing observations on the payroll process, and the mating habits of Maldavian Fire Demons.